BREAKING NEWS: (Updated at 2:22pm) In a rush to be called the Bigger, Better, Faster, Fastest Network – Digicel has decided to say No to the CLARO deal and is quietly preparing to make a hostile take over bid for LIME instead.
“Hey they got a really fast 3G network and that pesky new Mobile TV thing, so we’d like to have it since we’re in a buying mood. Plus we believe their fushia, green, purple and yellow colours are quite complimentary to all our red branding.”
The Digicel insider who broke the news to SiliconCaribe also confided that one of the other reasons, the telecom provider wanted to buy Claro, was to scare all of those ex-Digicel employees there. “We know they unlocked the free Blackberries we gave them for the Claro Network and we’re not ok with that.”
The insider went on to further say, that yet another reason for changing their minds about selling to the Carlos Slim-led America Movil company, was that the Digicel team down there in Honduras and El Salvador, has finally gotten the hang of speaking Spanish, have mastered the merengue and and are now able to say their slogan backwards even after a dozen mojitos.
LIME Spokesmen and Spokeswomen were unavailable for comment, as today is the ISSA Boys & Girls Championships, they are a main sponsor and no one in their right mind misses Champs on a Friday.
April fools
